Work Stress & Burnout Counselling in Brentwood
You may be used to carrying responsibility, solving problems and keeping things moving. But work may be following you home — replaying conversations, worrying about what you should have done differently, finding it hard to switch off, or feeling that however much you do it is never quite enough.
You might still be functioning well on the outside while privately becoming more exhausted, irritable or detached. Saying no, asking for help or admitting that something is too much can feel harder than simply pushing on.
I offer face-to-face counselling in Shenfield, near Brentwood, for adults experiencing work stress, burnout and the pressure of carrying too much for too long. We can look at both what is happening around you at work and the ways you have learned to cope when pressure, criticism or responsibility become difficult to bear.
When work stress doesn’t stay at work
Work stress is not always obvious while you are in the middle of it. You may still be meeting deadlines, answering emails and doing what people expect of you, while noticing that work is taking up more and more space in your head.
You might find yourself:
- thinking about work in the evening or at weekends;
- replaying a conversation with a manager, colleague or client;
- worrying about criticism, mistakes or whether you have let someone down;
- becoming more irritable or impatient with the people closest to you;
- struggling to switch off even when there is nothing urgent to do;
- feeling tired but unable to properly rest;
- withdrawing or having very little left to give outside work.
Sometimes the first sign that something needs attention is not what happens at work, but what begins to happen around work — in your sleep, relationships, mood or ability to feel present when you are supposed to be off duty.
Why capable people often keep going for too long
Being capable can become part of how you see yourself. You may be the person who sorts things out, stays calm, takes responsibility or carries on when other people are struggling.
That can make it surprisingly difficult to notice when you have reached your own limit. Asking for help may feel uncomfortable. Saying no can bring guilt. You may worry that admitting you are struggling means letting someone down, appearing weak or failing to meet the standard you expect of yourself.
So instead of stepping back, you may work harder, stay later, take on more or tell yourself you just need to get through the next few weeks.
The problem is that the strategy that helped you succeed can eventually become the thing that keeps you stuck. Counselling can help us look at what makes it so difficult to stop, ask for support or respond differently when pressure starts to build.
If you are used to carrying responsibility and find it difficult to ask for support, you may also find my article “Why is it so hard to ask for help when you’re used to coping?” useful.
Pressure, criticism and trying to get things right
Work pressure is not only about workload. Sometimes the hardest part is the sense that you need to get things right, avoid mistakes or manage how other people see you.
A comment from a manager, a difficult meeting or the possibility of disappointing somebody can stay with you long after the working day has ended. You may replay what was said, think about what you should have done differently or become preoccupied with whether somebody is unhappy with you.
You might find yourself:
- checking and rechecking work;
- taking criticism very personally, even when you know intellectually that it may be reasonable;
- avoiding difficult conversations because you do not want conflict;
- agreeing to something when you really want to say no;
- spending too much time anticipating other people’s reactions;
- becoming defensive, withdrawing or losing your words when you feel under pressure.
These reactions can happen very quickly. Part of the work in counselling can be to slow those moments down and notice what is happening before you automatically push harder, give way or retreat.
Stress and burnout are not quite the same thing
Periods of pressure at work are normal, and feeling stressed does not necessarily mean you are experiencing burnout. The difficulty comes when pressure becomes sustained and there is too little opportunity to recover.
You may notice that tiredness no longer improves after a weekend or holiday, that you feel increasingly detached from your work, or that tasks you once managed confidently now feel much harder. Some people become cynical or disengaged; others keep performing while feeling increasingly depleted underneath.
The World Health Organization describes burnout as an occupational phenomenon resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. You do not need to decide whether what you are experiencing “counts” as burnout before seeking counselling. If work is affecting your wellbeing, relationships or ability to function as you normally would, that is enough for us to begin exploring what is happening.
When work starts affecting your relationships and sense of yourself
Work stress rarely stays neatly contained within working hours. You may come home physically present but still mentally occupied by what happened during the day, what needs doing tomorrow or a conversation you cannot stop replaying.
You might notice yourself becoming less patient, more withdrawn or harder to reach You may also find that you have less energy for friendships, interests or parts of life that used to matter to you.
If small things at work or at home are starting to make you much angrier than you expect, it can be useful to look at what has been building before the reaction. I explore this in “Why do I get angry so easily? What happens before the anger”.
For some people, work becomes closely tied to identity. Being competent, useful or successful may have provided a strong sense of who you are. When that starts to change — through burnout, redundancy, a difficult workplace or simply questioning whether you still want the same things — it can leave you feeling unexpectedly uncertain.
Counselling can give us space to look at both the immediate pressure and the wider question of what you want your relationship with work to be.
Redundancy, career change and losing a role
Redundancy or a major career change can affect much more than income. Work may have provided structure, status, purpose, relationships and a strong sense of identity.
If the change was imposed on you, there can also be anger, shame, rejection or a sense that something important has been taken away.
Counselling can offer space to understand both the practical impact and what the change means personally, without assuming that you should already know what your next step is.
You may also find my article on coping with redundancy useful.
How counselling can help with work stress and burnout
Counselling can help you separate what is happening around you from the ways you have learned to respond to pressure.
Sometimes the problem is clearly external — an unreasonable workload, difficult management, uncertainty about your role or a workplace that is no longer sustainable. At other times, the pressure is intensified by patterns such as finding it hard to say no, feeling responsible for other people’s reactions, pushing yourself to get things right or continuing to perform long after you have reached your limit.
We can look at both.
You may already understand intellectually that you need to slow down, set better boundaries or stop taking everything so personally. Understanding why you keep pushing yourself is one thing; responding differently while the pressure is actually happening is another.
In our sessions, we can pay attention to the moments when you lose your words, become tense, agree to something you do not want, withdraw, become defensive or automatically take on more. By slowing those moments down, you may begin to notice your limits earlier and develop more choice in how you respond. This way of working is particularly relevant to people who understand their patterns intellectually but still find themselves reacting in the same familiar way when the pressure is actually happening.
Why work with me?
Before becoming a counsellor, I spent around 35 years in business and finance, much of it in senior leadership. I know environments where responsibility, deadlines, performance and difficult decisions are part of everyday working life, and where admitting that you are struggling can feel particularly difficult.
Alongside private practice, I have completed more than 800 supervised counselling hours across community counselling and hospice bereavement work. My original training was person-centred, and I am undertaking advanced postgraduate training in Gestalt psychotherapy.
I work in an active and relational way. I will listen carefully, but I will also ask questions, share what I notice and pay attention to what happens while we are talking. You will not be expected to do all the talking or have everything worked out before you begin.
Face-to-face counselling in Shenfield, near Brentwood
I offer face-to-face counselling for adults from my practice in Shenfield, near Brentwood, Essex (CM15).
Sessions are 50 minutes, usually weekly, and the fee is £70 per session. I also offer online counselling where appropriate.
Before booking a full session, you can arrange a free 20-minute introductory call. You can tell me a little about what has brought you to counselling, ask any questions you have and get a sense of whether working together feels right.
Questions about counselling for work stress and burnout
Do I need to be burnt out before counselling can help?
No. You may still be functioning well at work while noticing that the pressure is becoming harder to manage. Counselling can be useful before things reach crisis point, particularly if work is beginning to affect your mood, sleep, relationships or ability to switch off.
What if the main problem really is my workplace rather than me?
Sometimes the difficulty is clearly connected to workload, management, workplace relationships or an environment that is no longer sustainable. Counselling is not about persuading you to tolerate unreasonable circumstances. We can look at what is happening around you as well as how you are responding to it.
Is this counselling or executive coaching?
This is counselling rather than coaching. We may talk about work, leadership, difficult decisions or career change, but the focus is on your emotional wellbeing, relationships and the patterns that may be affecting how you experience and respond to pressure.
Will my employer know that I am having counselling?
If you arrange and pay for counselling privately, your employer would not normally know that you are attending. Our sessions are confidential within the usual professional and legal limits, which I will explain before we begin.